When the Holidays Feel Heavy

When I was younger and the holidays came around, there wasn't a space in my heart that saw how heavy these seasons can be. The older I get, the more I learned that the holidays aren’t just about celebration. They’re about memory. They are beautiful and heavy all at once.

I’m not saying this time of year isn’t magical, but grief has a way of weaving itself into the winter like a quiet guest. Never loud, never dramatic, just there. It shows up with the new traditions, the empty chair, and the moments that remind you of someone who isn’t here anymore. I used to think feeling this way meant I wasn’t “doing holidays right.” Now I know it just means I’m human.

Grief doesn’t take a break for the holidays. It doesn’t care about the bright lights, the advent calendars, the musics, or how festive it is. It moves with you.

This is exactly what I learned.

You are allowed to let the holidays look different. You’re allowed to slow down. You’re allowed to feel joy and sadness in the same breath. You’re allowed to protect your heart. And you don’t have to pretend you’re okay just because it’s December.

The holidays for me have become less about perfection and more about presence. Very gentle moments along the way at a holiday party, honoring the people and parts of myself I’ve lost along the way.

Human to human, I am here to tell you that it is completely okay if your season looks softer this year. It’s okay if it hurts. It’s okay you are healing. I would genuinely love to hear from you. I’m here with you in this messy, tender, hopeful season…your story matters. Whenever you are ready, I’m listening.